there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
