did you get engaged???
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
The couple that wants to take me home just paid the bartender $100 to pour tequila down my throat. I think I'm in some type of twilight zone where stds run rampant and the alcohol floweth
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Randomize
