if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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