Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize