To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
