We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I woke up on a different floor than I went to sleep on. Can't find my shoes.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
