i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
