Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
We got cut off at the bar, but it's okay because I tactically rolled behind the bar and grabbed a bottle of whiskey. Meet me in the back booth when you're done puking in the bathroom. This is about to get real slutty.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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