How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
