There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize