Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
