Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
Randomize
