You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
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