You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
