I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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