lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
Randomize
