Dual....:-)
I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
Randomize
