That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
