just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
