i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Randomize
