If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
