I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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