and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
