i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
Randomize