i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I am one with the molecules
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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