guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I had to say goodbye to one of my fuck buddies last night. He's voting for Trump, we shouldn't be doing it anyways.
Randomize
