This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Randomize
