He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
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