even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
