a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
what day is it and did you see me today?
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
