mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
Randomize
