she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
