But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
