My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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