Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Randomize
