i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
