i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
