I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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