i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
