Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
