:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Randomize