Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I snuck in through the doggy door to get his vodka. Do you think my ex will know?
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
