i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
