Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
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