Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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