We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
