i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I need a beard to bite.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
