Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
