I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I smell like Dick and happiness
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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