she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Randomize
