Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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