If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
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