i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize
