After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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