ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
