Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
