I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Randomize
