What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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