his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
Randomize
