Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
