Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
Is her dick bigger than yours?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
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