Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
