my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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