you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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