why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize
