you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
