i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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