Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
Hippo gnu deer
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
