Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
he needs to stop telling all his friends what my queefs sound like. its getting awkward to be around people who can quote my vagina.
Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I can't turn off my feet"
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Randomize
