You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
