I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
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