wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Well, she yelled at the stripper that she couldn't lick whipped cream off his nipples because she is lactose intolerant.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
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