i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Randomize
